The Doctor’s Wife

It’s amazing that 4 years of medical school have come to an end. From my perspective, they flew by. However, I did not take even one night of overnight call, study one day for boards, take one lecture on the Krebs cycle, go on one residency interview or tolerate one pimp session from an attending.

What I will say though is that being a medical school wife was easier than I thought it was going to be. To be honest, I imagined the worst. I imagined a husband who would never be home, would be stressed all the time. I underestimated my own independence, my own patience, the wonderful friends (wives) who would be always be around.

As I write this, my husband is CLEANING THE IRON. (The iron, that is dirty because I melted something on it.) Meanwhile, I write blogs. Not exactly how I imagined being a med school wife would be. I never dreamed we’d go on a road trip nearly every other month. Or that Matt would get to spend as much time on the golf course as he would in the wards 4th year. I never thought I’d come home to find my garage organized and shelves hung. I figured free time would be minimal, patience would be short, and I would have to do everything around the house. That as the “doctor’s wife”, I would always come second to my husband’s career.

This statement is nothing short of laughable.

Don’t get me wrong. There have been challenges. Boards studying sucked. Watching my (then boyfriend) stare into a computer screen for 34 days straight? Quizzing him on pharmacology drugs so frequently that even I started to dream about them? Worrying about what his scores might be, how that might affect residency and where would we end up leaving? Sucked. But, it passed. (He passed.)

OB-GYN rotation. Surgery. Medicine. Early mornings wake ups. Visiting him in the call room that looked the worst Quality Inn you’ve ever visited. Driving 1700 miles in one week to do 4 residency interviews. Sucked. But, it passed. He passed. We passed.

When I look back on medical school, I know I won’t remember the dog-eared copies of the STEP-1 book. I couldn’t tell you the names of any of the attendings who pimped him or what that one rotation was where he had to write the absurdly long SOAP notes. I will remember that during med school we made some wonderful friends. That we created vacations resourcefully – visiting friends, bartering personal training for resorts (see: next week’s vacay), staying in vacant apartments of family members. That we had potluck dinners where one couple brought the margaritas and one couple brought the salad and another couple brought the hamburgers. That we remembered to thank each other for going out of the way to help when one was busy or just simply needed a break. (Thank you for ironing the curtains while I blog.) That we got married and bought a house. That we had fun, more days than I can count. That we made it.

Contrary to the Worst Case Scenario I might have imagined medical school wifery to be, it turns out that when we look back on medical school we may remember them as nothing short of a wonderful way to start a life together. If anyone is surprised by this, it is most of all me. I wonder what I was so scared of?

Happy Graduation to you, and happy completion of a chapter to us.

Graduation Recap

A Graduation Recap for all of you who weren’t there. You, I guarantee, were much warmer than I.

Joe Biden was the commencement speaker. There was much to-do about the increase in security and we hustled over to campus about an hour & a half before the ceremony was to start, imagining TSA-like security. The line was indeed about 2 football lengths long. However, when we got to the front we realized the slow down was due to the fact that 2 kind ladies were holding open boxes of Krispy Kremes at the entrance.

The purse check at most Wake Forest games were more rigorous than the security. Hold open purse, walk by as they wave wands, hope they did not see my flaskoculars…. and go.

Oh and the weather? Was freezing. I have been to 4 WFU graduations in the last 5 years. All had temperatures in the 90s. Today the bookstore sold out of jackets, sweatshirts, socks, blankets, anything with bundle-like properties was gone. So you can imagine. I had bought a cardigan at Target the day before that was on clearance and kind of was a cross between a cardigan and a pashima. It quickly became known as the “dressy snuggie” (or, the druggie) and despite the questionable fashionable-ness of it, I was SO thankful for it. (Example of the dressy snuggie.) I sat indian style with my stocking-feet underneath my body swaddled in my dressie snuggie, breathing on to my body for warmth. New Yoga Pose: Mother Hen?

They are smiling, but they can’t feel their toes.

Devoted wife, warm blanket.

The fact that I just devoted an entire paragraph to cold and what I wore should pretty much sum up how I felt about Joe speaking at the ceremony. And also: could not hear.

After the ceremony, at which my Dad declared there was “no such thing as cold weather, just poor dressing” a mere three times (but also gave me his suit coat. Pity WIN!), we relocated to the recital hall for the medical school diplomas. En route, we found the Krispy Kreme krew had overestimated the donut needs of the crowd and was passing out boxes by the dozen.

Jason: “I’ll just take one.”
KK lady: “No, take the box.”

By the dozen.

Well. Twist our arms.

The indoor ceremony was nice, climate controlled and all. They also seemed quite aware of the idea that we had all our major AWWWW THEY DUN GONE BECAME DOCTAS moment yesterday and this ceremony was short ‘n’ sweet. No whooping in between names, no long speeches and congratulations, no political agendas in the speech.

Speech, speech, diploma, clapping, standing up…more clapping….they are DOCTORS now! Doctors!

And with that, commencement comes to an end.

Hooding

Today was my husband’s hooding ceremony for his medical doctorate. Although the graduation for all WFU candidates is Monday, this is a smaller ceremony that focuses on just the medical class and I think really just sets aside time for the family of the now DOCTORS to celebrate what they have accomplished.

I’m not a parent, but I imagine one of the first things you do when you find out you’re pregnant is start imagining what your child will grow up to be. I wonder what it felt like for all the parents there to sit there and gaze upon their very grown babies and think back to all that they hoped for them. I imagine that that is a kind of happy/proud where words would just fall short.

Ever since I have known Matt (we met as sophomores in college), we have referred to this pursuit as “the doctor’s path”. Sometimes in jest, sometimes in conflict, but always on mutual understanding of the priority that was given to “the doctor’s path.” Becoming a doctor has been his single greatest focus for more than a decade. A decade! At 13, he hurt his knee playing football. A trip to the orthopedic later and Matt just knew he wanted to be a doctor. An essay he wrote shortly after this event in 7th grade describes not only how he is going to be a doctor, but he’s going to attend Wake Forest Medical School.

I know, right? At 13, I wanted to be an architect. And an author. And a teacher. And, oooh, a psychologist! In other words, I had no idea.

Talk about a single track mind.

The doctor’s path has been many things: stressful. challenging. confusing. surprising. bonding. fulfilling. None of these words fully encapsulate the journey I have watched my husband persue single-mindedly for the 8 years I have known him, and the one I joined him on when I became Mrs. To see him stand up there and take the Physician’s Oath and know that years and years and years of commitment, focus, determination and sacrifices have culminated in a one single ceremony-filled weekend that marks the transition from student to physician? Amazing & inspiring.

If I write any more, I just may lose it. Congratulations, Dr. I am so proud of you.

Match Day

For the last 3 years, I have been explaining one confusing concept of the medical school path to friends and family alike: Match Day.

“Yep, just one day in March when every 4th year medical student in the country finds out at noon where they’re going to spending the next 3-5 years of their life.” If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times. Match Day always felt like this elusive, far off day that would signal the grand finale of medical school. Finally, this morning, Match Day arrived.

The long journey of medical school is nearly over…
So, what’s next?

The months leading up to Match Day are a flurry of reviewing programs, submitting applications, writing personal statements and interviews. Gracious, the interviews. Who came up with this plan? Let’s take a bunch of cash-strapped, anxiety-ridden students and make them tour the country, staying at Super 8’s and making meals out of heavy appetizers at the interview dinners, all in an effort to narrow down which programs you like and vice versa. It’s a process that is exhaustive and exhausting, all in one. (And I was just the casual bystander, who graced but one interview dinner with my presence!) Despite the insanity of interview season, there seems to be value in the process of elimination that takes place on both ends and somehow, someway it all works out.

Fast forward to March 19th. Students, spouses, children, parents, and even some residents and attendings crowd the common area outside the room where the envelopes await. The tension is palpable, as people anxiously glance down at their watches, willing it to be noon. At twelve on the dot, the doors open. Much like the gunshot of a foot race, there is an initial rush and then a traffic jam as people clamor to get through the double doors. We head back to a table where envelopes with C last names gather and there it is, waiting for us. Without much fanfare, the envelope is opened. I’m behind the camera lens, and it’s hard to tell what his initial reaction is and my heart skips a beat for just a second. But then, there is a smile and he’s waving it at me and I put down the camera to see… “Wake Forest, Wake Forest,” he’s saying. There is relief and smiling and laughing and hugging.

The envelope, please.

The one day in March when every 4th year finds out where they are spending the next 3-5 years of their life has arrived, and with it has arrived good news. We are staying – we are staying here in this little city that has become home to us over nine years. We are staying with good friends with whom relationships have blossomed through the shared journeys of being students and better halves, respectively. He is staying in an emergency department with attendings and residents whom he respects and looks forward to working with, and I am staying in a job that still excites and inspires me each day. With one swipe of the letter opener, we are staying. Match Day has come, and with it the news that medical school comes to an end but our life in Winston goes on.

Future Docs. The Wives. Happy to be townies!

4th Year: Celebrate We Will

Yesterday we found out our friends, Zac and Jamie, are going to be staying here in Winston for Zac’s optho residency! We are so excited for them, since this was their first choice AND a very highly competitive program. That’s right, take a moment to send your mental congrats to Dr Z! It hardly seems fair now that they know their match and the rest of us have to wait til another EIGHT friggin weeks, but that’s what the Match Day Gods have decided, so wait we shall…and in the meantime, celebrate we will. Upon finding out the news, we rounded up a few buddies to get together to cheers to the good news. Matt demonstrated his cake decorating prowess with an eyeball adorned ice cream cake, and Zac appropriately sliced right into the sclera. (Yes, I confess, I looked that up. I’m not that on top of my eyeball terminology.)

The cake disappeared quickly, the Prosecco flowed and before long, the wii fit came out. All this on a school night? Whoever said med school was tough forgot to put the foot note on that says… Ummm yea. Except fourth year. Enjoy that, seniors. It’s hard to believe 4th year is here, and trust me, we’re soaking it up.

Even puggle got in on the celebratory bevs!

These fine gents are your future physicians!

Greetings from Non-Snowy South Carolina

It is snowing in NC in November…. totally unheard of. Of course, we are not there. We are in sunny, warm Columbia, SC. (Sunny yes, warm is up for debate. Mid-50’s.)

Per usual for residency interviews, we had dinner last night with the other applicants and residents last. 3 hours of listening to them talk about “getting airways” (medicine speak for having an oppurtunity to stick a tube down into someone’s lungs) and “moonlighting” (working in small nearby hospitals for extra pay in your “free time”) and the terrors of July for an intern. (The “omg, I’m a doctor?!!? moment most 1st years experience.)

This morning I dropped Matt off at his interview and took myself on a walking tour of Columbia. The area down by the waterfront (river? canal?) is very nice. Very trendy and cute. Reminded me a little better of Fells Point in Baltimore, but newer. Lots of shops and places to eat. Probably not where medical residents live. The state capitol house was interesting…. and by interesting I mean, a confederate flag is waving proudly in it’s front yard. Is that legal?

Now I am working (writing emails, blogs and facebook status updates + 3 legit phone call sessions) in my hotel room til late check-out at 1pm, then I’ll go find somewhere to eat and check out USC campus.

I’ll pick up the student doctor at 3p and we should be back home to snowy NC by dinner time. After his first six interviews, Matt went on a cancelling spree and went from 21 interviews down to 11. I can see why now. If one more resident asked him “So, do you have any questions about the program?” (knowing full well all applicants had to watch a SIXTY-FOUR slide powerpoint about the program that included details such as the program director’s middle name and that south carolina is known as the Iodine State and thus has the lowest incident rate of goiters)… I think his head was going to explode from repressed eye-rolling.

Still left on the interview circuit: Charleston, Duke, UNC and U of R.

Yankee Land Delight!

NC to York to NC to Pittsburgh to Morgantown to Pittsburgh to NC… Oh my!

Monday he spent up in York, PA interviewing at a private hospital there. Prior to that, our only encounter with York had been to ski at Roundtop Mountain, the first time Matt came to visit me when I was living in Baltimore. It was on this mountain hill that our romance was rekindled… but I don’t think the nostalgia was enough to sweeten the visit as a high on the future rank list.

York, PA – Ski Roundtop – Matt’s first visit to Baltimore, March 2005

Wednesday he was back on the road to Pittsburgh – a town both of us know well, given that both of our college roommates hail from the Iron City. Dropping a “Go Stillers” into your interview is always a nice touch. Overall though, he sounded truly thrilled with the program at Pitt.

View of Pittsburgh from the top of Mt. Washington (from Britta’s Wedding Reception, 7/05)

Today he is in Morgantown, WV interviewing at WVU. We don’t know much about Morgantown, so I’m curious to hear his take on the program. Then he is back on the road back to Pittsburgh, for a visit with Jason, a Steelers game and one more interview at Alleghany General before it’s back on the road again. Thank the heavens that gas prices have dropped to the low 2’s again!

Safe travels, Hubby and get home soon!

Interview Season

Eighteen and counting! So far (in order as I remember them)

• U Pitt (Pittsburgh, PA)
• Wake Forest University (Winston-Salem, NC)
• University of Rochester (Rochester, NY)
• Georgetown University (Washington, DC)
• Beth Israel Hospital (New York, NY)
• UT at Chattanooga (Chattanooga, TN)
• UNM (Alburqurque, NM)
• Duke (Durham, NC)
• WVU (Morgantown, WV)
• Allegheny General Hospital (Pittsburgh, PA)
• Ohio State University (Columbus, OH)
• Thomas Jefferson (Philadelphia, PA)
• MUSC (Charleston, SC)
• VCU (Richmond, VA)
• Eastern Virginia (Norfolk, VA)
• East Carolina University (Greenville, NC)
• University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (Chapel Hill, NC)

I am missing one and it’s going to bug me. But anyways… here are the possible places our future may lie! Where do you think we’ll end up?

The Big Trip to Greenville

Yesterday I made the trip down to Greenville, NC – home of the famous B’s Barbeque, the ECU Pirates, Lee Norris (of One Tree Hill and Boy Meets Fame and a fellow WFU ‘04 alum) and oh yes, Pitt County Memorial Hospital, where my husband is currently doing a rotation. ECU is on the list of possible residency locations so I thought it might behoove me to check out one of our potential areas of relocation… not to mention it’d been 7 days since I’d seen my husband and I was more than happy to pay him a visit too. I was truly pleasantly surprised by Greenville. I had a great tour guide, as one of our best friends and Matt’s host, is a Greenville native and humored me with a driving tour complete with a stop to the local Wal-mart. I also saw a Harris Teeter and not one but two Starbucks so… I’m set! What I truly did see that I loved was that Greenville is one of those cities that is on that brink of revitalization. Mike drove me down what was the old Main St downtown area in it’s tobacco hey-day and then over to the current “downtown” area, and every other building he pointed out was recently rehabbed, in the process of being rehabbed or just about to be rehabbed. It reminded me of one of my other favorite “work in progress” cities… B’more! (And maybe even Winston?) I just love picturing what potential lies beneath a dilapidated run-down warehouse. The places Mike took us out on Saturday night was a great example of the amazing rebirth of old architecture. After dinner at a yummy and obviously popular restaraunt called Starlight Cafe, we walked over to a recently renovated building that now houses a spa and a restaraunt called, appropriately, LA Lounge & Spa. Can’t fault them for being ambigious. I’m always a little hesitant about places in the South that christen themselves with NY or LA references, generally finding the result to be an exaggerated stereotype. I haven’t been to LA so I don’t truly know what a LA bar looks like, but I didn’t have any trouble imaging I was there once we walked inside. It was a very hushed decor, with palm and moss greenery everywhere, low light candles on deep dark tables and very, very pretty people. The martini list was extensive, creative and quite expensive. I had the Wall Street Red (Stoli Strawberi, cranberry juice & champagne). Kim and Matt both had something with pomegrante seeds floating in it, Mike had the Italian Kiss (of which I promptly stole his sugared strawberries, ingracious guest that I am!) and I believe Jason, inspired by our afternoon movie watching on Mike’s new blu-ray, had the no fooling around 007. What more could you ask for in a city: a martini bar with bubble chairs and pomegrante garnished beverages in the same metropolils as a barbeque joint so old school they shut the doors when they run out of food? (We did not have any B’s because they had run out. Of course.)

So, while I pledge to remain absolutely unbiased and open minded about our potential future cities of residences, I am pleased to say that I can now at least imagine carving out a life in one new place. Between martinis, starbucks, barbeque, and let’s be honest – walmart – I could be all set. One site visited, a mere 29 to go.

Cereal for Dinner

Matt packed up and left for Greenville today. It was a bit of an anticlimatic good-bye as he’ll return for a 4-day weekend on Thursday. So really, his absence this week will be no more different than the 4-day night shift he pulled on his OB rotation or the 3-in-a-row nights he’ll work on a regular basis in the ED. Only difference is rather than being 9 miles away, he’s about 200 miles away. So, here I am watching Red Sox and eating cereal for dinner and waiting for my goodnight call- flashback to 2005, anyone?

Well, since we fell in love with 345 miles separating us, so what’s another month of making the heart grow fonder?