December 18, 2009
By: Guest Blogger Keena Hutchens
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years’ Eve….this time of the year usually finds us with tons to do and never enough time to do it in. There’s a lot of hours put in to make sure that the holidays go off without a hitch from planning, decorating, shopping, coordinating schedules; it’s enough to wear you out. I tend to notice a lot of people around this time of year get so caught up in making sure everything is perfect that they don’t have time to enjoy it. Isn’t it sad that that all the things that are supposed to make the holidays fun get turned in to checking off a to-do list that we have to do rather than be activities we want to do? So many people just get so burned out and stressed out by the time everything’s done that they’re just waiting for the holidays to be over, especially when holiday chores are being piled on top of all the other responsibilities you have.
Why do we have this problem every year? Part of the reason is that we feel like we can’t say ‘no’ when people try to add to our to-do list; we feel guilty letting people down and don’t want to be perceived as ‘not up to the challenge’ or like a scrooge. Sometimes we think, ‘well someone has to do it, and if I don’t, it just won’t get done!’ And then there’s the little voice inside our heads that keep comparing what we do to everyone else: “the neighbors have more lights than we do, better put some more up”, “Sarah’s family is going skiing this year, why aren’t we taking a trip?”
I know that during the holiday season we’re barraged with messages of “it’s better to give than to receive” and to think of those who may not have as much as us. Those are very good messages that we need to be reminded of, but not at the cost of becoming so wrapped up in giving that we get become frustrated and irritable or we miss out on how fun this time of year can be. So this year, when you start to feel frazzled, I want you to remember to give time to yourself. Maybe some of the things on your to-do list don’t have to be done. Stop comparing what you do to everyone else; it’s your holidays and if you and your family enjoy them then it doesn’t really matter what the neighbors think. Ask for help even when you don’t think you need it, it makes others feel good to be useful and needed. But when you ask for help, you need to be willing to let that person handle things in their own way instead of nagging at them that they’re not doing it the “right” way; don’t micromanage your volunteers! Most importantly, take time out for yourself. Whether it’s an hour taking a bubble bath or (a personal favorite) really rocking out to songs on the radio (and yes, this often involves air guitar and head banging at stop lights on the way to wherever I’m going) take time to de-stress and let loose doing something that you enjoy. Just a few minutes of “me time” can make you feel refreshed and recharged to handle whatever holiday disaster that comes your way.
Keena is an intern at Meg Cline Coaching and a senior at Salem College. She is double majoring in Philosophy and Religion in order to learn about other’s perspectives on life. Her interest in life coaching comes from helping others realize what they want and how to get there.
November 18, 2009
When Keena and I started working on the November newsletter on gratitude, I really wanted to find an example of someone who had used a gratitude journal to change their life. Fortunately, an internet search for “gratitude journal changed my life” actually turned out to be quite fruitful.
We came across Carla’s website and her post on her a gratitude journal helped her shift her life. I got in touch with Carla and she was gracious enough to answer a few more questions about her experiences. I wasn’t able to include all of them in my post on gratitude, but I loved her story and her words so much I wanted to share them with you. Here’s the rest of my questions and her answers.
iPhone users, check out her applications – a gratitude journal app and a vision board app. This is now only about the 300th time I now wish I had an iPhone! Her blog can be found at here. You will feel this girl’s positivity radiate right out from your computer!
Carla White Q & A:
What first inspired you to start keeping a gratitude journal?
I was on a quest to get out of the funk I was in for two years since my dad suddenly passed away. I was trying everything but getting little results. Then I heard about gratitude journals on a pod cast and gave it a shot. At first it was really hard for me to come up with five things I’m grateful for. I was repeating the same things every day. But in a few weeks my life started to shift and my entries got longer and longer. In just a couple months my life changed completely.
· You mentioned a number of different benefits that you had from keeping your journal, including sleeping better, losing weight, having better personal relationships – do you still the effects of this now that’s it’s been a year later?
Amazingly I’ve been able to keep the weight off, I sleep better than ever and yes, my personal relationships are still going strong. It’s a snowball effect. Everything just seems to get bigger and better. This doesn’t mean I don’t have any issues or struggles in my life. Everyone does. I can handle them so much better and know not to let them get the best of me.
· Has anyone in your life asked your what “your secret was” and if so, do you know if they started a gratitude journal?
Just recently a close friend came to me and said she is going through a divorce. She said “As long as I’ve known you, you seem so together. How do you do it?” The truth is she met me before I started keeping a gratitude journal, but she doesn’t remember me with bags under my eyes, overweight and fed up. She and her daughter both started keeping a journal and it’s really helped them through this divorce so much. In fact, I’ve had quite a few people contact me saying that keeping a gratitude journal has helped them with losing a job, their home, a loved one. I’m so grateful I was able to create a way for others to start a journal so easily.
· I love your idea to make the gratitude journal for the iPhone . I’ve often heard it said that when you find the type of work that you are called to do, it doesn’t even feel like work. Obviously it took a lot of work and pieces of the puzzle for it to come together – were there any moments you questioned what you were doing?
I worked on the Gratitude Journal iPhone app from 5am – 7am before going into my day job and again at night when I got home. Yes, there were quite a few early mornings dragging myself out of bed wondering what sort of madness struck me. I would see other slick looking apps being launched by folks who have been in Silicon Valley and wonder what I was doing. I was in the middle of corn fields and didn’t even have an iPhone! But then I would go to work listening to the news on the radio about our economy and think to myself, “If I can get one person to turn around their life with a gratitude journal, it will be worth it.”
· I’ve read on your blog that you are a student of ‘the secret’ – do you remember the moment when you realized you were coming from a place of negative energy instead of positive energy? What was that aha moment like for you?
It took me quite a while to figure that out. I was on the brink of losing my job, interviewing with a dozen companies none of which resulted in a job offer. I was frustrated thinking, “I’m sending out positive thoughts, why aren’t any of these job coming together for me?” After awhile I realized that the energy I was putting out there wasn’t positive. It was desperate and negative. I started to telling myself little affirmations like “I love life, life loves me,” and “money comes often and easy.” Everyday all day I would say these together with little bits of thanks. It seems like the more I gave thanks, the more the universe gave me to be thankful for. My intentions changed from desperate wishes (like winning the lottery) to soul goals. I wanted to do something that is the highest and best interest for me and those around me. To give back. And again, the more I gave back, the more the universe gave me.
· What message do you share with those who are skeptical about the power of gratitude?
I want to tell them they’re right to be skeptical. I was too. The idea that writing down a few things each day will change my life seemed ridiculous. Especially in an age when we’re told you need to spend a lot of money and time to change. And we need to top it off with some prescription medicine too. I’ll be honest with you. It won’t work if you only do it here and there for a couple days. You need to do it everyday for at least one month. A shift will happen. It most likely won’t be in the way that you imagine it to. But that’s ok. Trust that the universe is working for you and it will. Just keep telling it what you’re thankful for so it knows what to keep giving you. You’re having a conversation with the universe all day anyway, why not take control of it?
· What’s your next project?
My career is delving deeper into spirituality the power of the universe. I’m working with some incredible life coaches, creating more life improving iPhone apps, and have a couple writing projects in the works. I’m also helping others get their apps off the ground through books, presentations and coaching. Everyday more and more opportunity comes knocking on my door – quite a difference from just a year ago when I was desperate for find a job!
