April 25, 2009

The Catch

Shoot, I need to get an oil change. I wonder when I can go. Maybe Thursday? No, definitely not Thursday, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment Thursday and that meeting is on Friday so I better leave some time to prepare for that. I’m so not prepared for that. I need to email Joe and see where the numbers are for that. I wonder if our tax return is ready yet. I need to pay our water bill I think. Crap, I need to get to the grocery store too. I don’t know what I’m cooking for dinner tonight. Maybe I’ll just get pizza. That’s not very healthy though, can’t eat that. But, blech, I’m so sick of chicken. I need to lose some weight. These pants are way too tight. I hate the way they look. I hate the way I LOOK. I need to go to the gym. My knee hurts. I wonder who’s going to get kicked off American Idol tonight. I’m so tired. I shouldn’t have stayed up so late watching TV last night.

What? Don’t tell me you haven’t heard a similar diatribe play in your own head before? I swear, whenever I stop to actually pay attention to the running stream of consciousness in my head, I often find if I’m not monitoring it, it’s like having an email inbox with no spam filters. It’s like a free for all of thoughts, with no limitations on what I actually want there.

There’s a concept in the field of personal development called the law of manifestation (or sometimes called the law of attraction.) The general premise of this law is that “Like Attracts Like,” or that all thoughts have an energetic field to them and whatever thought you’re putting out there creates results around the energy of that thought, whether positive or negative. If you accept that, the next premise – the negative thought attracts negative outcomes – is where I find we tend to get a little stuck. It’s like waking up in the morning, stubbing your toe and thinking “AGGGH. This is going to be a crappy day.” And guess what? It usually is.

We’re all constant thought-machines and playing the bait and switch on your thought processes all day can be overwhelming. I talk about the process of TFA for creating big picture positive thoughts (to create positive emotions) but there’s a game I play with myself on a more minute-by-minute basis to switch myself out of stream of consciousness mode when I’m focused on all the things I “don’t want” – to do lists, worries, frustrations, annoyances, stressors.

I call it “The Catch.” I call it that because the first step is catching yourself in the moment of having a negative thought… or thoughts. For myself, it’s often times a physical cue that I’m getting into negativity mode – an uneasy, tense feeling in the pit of my stomach, or I’ll find my hand has flown up to rub the back of my neck (for me: an immediate signal that my body is going into STRESS MODE, alert the cortisol pumps!!!). Or, of course, an overwhelming desire to turn the car immediately into the Starbucks drive through and get a mocha frappuchino. (Light, with no whip of course, BUT STILL.)

I slam the brakes on my thoughts (and my car) as soon as I catch them and immediately ask myself this question: So, what DO I want?

It’s an easy question to answer, and as soon as I shift my focus away from what I don’t want, what I lack, what I fear, what I worry about to what I hope for, what I have plenty of, what I celebrate, what I am confident in, the mood shift is immediate. My focus shifts to gratitude, optimism, excitement and peace of mind. The knot in my stomach releases, the tension disappears from my neck and my car stays on its due course. When you focus on what you want, you start noticing when you’re getting what you want. When you focus on what you have plenty of, you wallow in gratitude and the feeling of security. When you start celebrating, you find joy in the every day. Focusing on the positive is hardly a concept anyone can argue against for better living; but I often find the challenge is getting yourself to make the switch. It doesn’t have to be so difficult. Just catch, then ask. “What do I want?”

Whether or not you believe “Like Attract Like,” I promise you, you have nothing to lose by focusing on thoughts that generate positive emotions. Start today: Catch. Ask. Shift. Enjoy the benefits.

January 25, 2009

The Magic

Sometimes there appear to be themes to my weeks. I’ll find myself saying the same thing over and over again to four or five clients in one week, a statement I haven’t said in weeks or months yet it seems applicable to many that one week. This happened to be one of those weeks, and I’ll put this out there because maybe there’s something to be said for universal consciousness: many of us becoming aware of something all together.

“The difference between people who lose weight and keep it off, versus those who struggle with their weight all their life has nothing to do with the types of foods they eat, the diet program they join, the amount or type of exercise they do… the difference is all mental. How they think about themselves, their body, their worth, how they think about food and exercise, how they value health – that is where the difference lies.”

I must have said that spiel to six clients and in three or four groups this week. I hear a similar sentiment being reflected by Oprah, in her Best Life Ever confession, and on the Biggest Loser, as Bob and Jillian begin to focus on emotional ties to weight nearly as much as they do food and exercise. It makes me hopeful to believe that we as a whole are becoming more aware of this new way of approaching weigh tloss: from the inside out.

There’s no magic formula for eating right and exercising. There’s a huge body of science that tells us how to do it in the manner that’s best for our body and our health. But the magic formula for weight loss lies not in research articles, in diet books or in gym.

I’ve talked about it here, here and here. This is approaching weight loss from the inside out. This is tackling the emotions the cue you to stand in front of the pantry or make a spontaneous left hand turn into the drive through.

The magic is within you, and the only thing that stands in the way of you creating the life you want is the beliefs you hold about whether or not you deserve or are capable of that life.