June 22, 2009
I mentioned Oprah’s Best Life Week in a long ago post and I wanted to talk about a statement she made in her interview on Monday of that week that I keep on thinking about – almost half a year later. As she talked about her own struggles with weight, she said “Anybody who struggles with weight is hungry for something else.”
I’ve been entrenched in the world of weight loss, professionally and personally, for almost a decade. I’ve heard a lot of things said about people who struggle with their weight, most hurtful and a far cry from the truth. Oprah, no big surprise here, knows what she’s talking about. For about 20% of the people I work with, weight loss is merely a matter of understanding how many calories they need and how many calories are in the foods they eat. They get the formula, the book, the log and off they go. For the majority, eating in excess (and a deficit of activity) may indeed be one part lack of knowledge, but is a greater part emotionally driven. It’s not about willpower, about being lazy, about being stupid or all the other things we’ve all heard said (probably most often from none other than Yourself) – it’s about discovering and understanding, as Oprah, said what you’re really hungry for.
It could be as simple as more sleep or as profound as more love. It could be as benign as a cure for boredom or as complex as a cure for low self-worth.
Many people fear being hungry when they’re trying to lose weight, but the fact is that stomach growling hunger is much easier to deal with then love-hunger, security-hunger, self-worth-hunger, companionship-hunger, peace-hunger, calm-hunger, or whatever else you are starving for. Feeding that hunger with food – food that is so readily available and inexpensive in our country – is a learned habit. Can you un-learn a habit? Of course… but not without support, introspection, determination and the choice to build a new habit.
Oprah has bared her hunger and declared herself willing to try and feed it in a way that supports her health. Are you ready to find and feed your hunger?
More articles on emotional eating:
Stress Eating
Cravings
April 25, 2009
Shoot, I need to get an oil change. I wonder when I can go. Maybe Thursday? No, definitely not Thursday, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment Thursday and that meeting is on Friday so I better leave some time to prepare for that. I’m so not prepared for that. I need to email Joe and see where the numbers are for that. I wonder if our tax return is ready yet. I need to pay our water bill I think. Crap, I need to get to the grocery store too. I don’t know what I’m cooking for dinner tonight. Maybe I’ll just get pizza. That’s not very healthy though, can’t eat that. But, blech, I’m so sick of chicken. I need to lose some weight. These pants are way too tight. I hate the way they look. I hate the way I LOOK. I need to go to the gym. My knee hurts. I wonder who’s going to get kicked off American Idol tonight. I’m so tired. I shouldn’t have stayed up so late watching TV last night.
What? Don’t tell me you haven’t heard a similar diatribe play in your own head before? I swear, whenever I stop to actually pay attention to the running stream of consciousness in my head, I often find if I’m not monitoring it, it’s like having an email inbox with no spam filters. It’s like a free for all of thoughts, with no limitations on what I actually want there.
There’s a concept in the field of personal development called the law of manifestation (or sometimes called the law of attraction.) The general premise of this law is that “Like Attracts Like,” or that all thoughts have an energetic field to them and whatever thought you’re putting out there creates results around the energy of that thought, whether positive or negative. If you accept that, the next premise – the negative thought attracts negative outcomes – is where I find we tend to get a little stuck. It’s like waking up in the morning, stubbing your toe and thinking “AGGGH. This is going to be a crappy day.” And guess what? It usually is.
We’re all constant thought-machines and playing the bait and switch on your thought processes all day can be overwhelming. I talk about the process of TFA for creating big picture positive thoughts (to create positive emotions) but there’s a game I play with myself on a more minute-by-minute basis to switch myself out of stream of consciousness mode when I’m focused on all the things I “don’t want” – to do lists, worries, frustrations, annoyances, stressors.
I call it “The Catch.” I call it that because the first step is catching yourself in the moment of having a negative thought… or thoughts. For myself, it’s often times a physical cue that I’m getting into negativity mode – an uneasy, tense feeling in the pit of my stomach, or I’ll find my hand has flown up to rub the back of my neck (for me: an immediate signal that my body is going into STRESS MODE, alert the cortisol pumps!!!). Or, of course, an overwhelming desire to turn the car immediately into the Starbucks drive through and get a mocha frappuchino. (Light, with no whip of course, BUT STILL.)
I slam the brakes on my thoughts (and my car) as soon as I catch them and immediately ask myself this question: So, what DO I want?
It’s an easy question to answer, and as soon as I shift my focus away from what I don’t want, what I lack, what I fear, what I worry about to what I hope for, what I have plenty of, what I celebrate, what I am confident in, the mood shift is immediate. My focus shifts to gratitude, optimism, excitement and peace of mind. The knot in my stomach releases, the tension disappears from my neck and my car stays on its due course. When you focus on what you want, you start noticing when you’re getting what you want. When you focus on what you have plenty of, you wallow in gratitude and the feeling of security. When you start celebrating, you find joy in the every day. Focusing on the positive is hardly a concept anyone can argue against for better living; but I often find the challenge is getting yourself to make the switch. It doesn’t have to be so difficult. Just catch, then ask. “What do I want?”
Whether or not you believe “Like Attract Like,” I promise you, you have nothing to lose by focusing on thoughts that generate positive emotions. Start today: Catch. Ask. Shift. Enjoy the benefits.
