Priorities
Recently my friend, an exercise physiologist, and I attended a talk on a weight loss clinical trial at WF given by Dr. Larry Appel, a very prominent physician/researcher from Johns Hopkins. Dr. Appel is best known for established the link between sodium intake and hypertension. I may be* biased, but I consider Hopkins to be one of the premier institutions in public health, and I tend to put a lot of stock in the research that comes from this fine institution.
What most stuck with me from Dr. Appel’s talk was his reply to a question about whether or not physicians should offer their patients a “menu” of options when it comes to weight loss strategies. Many people might have agreed with this, reasoning that tailoring an approach to an individual’s lifestyle, preferences or energy would be a great way to increase the likelihood that they would comply with the prescription. Dr. Appel had a surprising and interesting reply.
He said that as much as he would like that option to be feasible, when you got right down to it, there are many things that people want to do to lose weight that are ineffective, and many things that they don’t want to do that are proven very effective. Specifically, he mentioned calorie counting – an activity that many people really passionately dislike doing but something that is incredibly supported by research as an effective and safe means of weight loss.
Did I mention I consider Hopkins people to be the best?
At this point, I looked over at the investigator of the research grant I work on who was giving me a look as if to say “Soooo, you haven’t been making this stuff up all along?”
***
Leaving the talk, my friend and I discussed the validity of this comment and how important it was to be direct with people about what works, even when they don’t want to hear it. (See: my love for Jillian Michaels and her unwavering ability to do this.) From there, we started talking about the many, many different reasons we’ve heard from people about why they are “unable” to exercise or commit to weight loss behaviors. We were doubled over laughing at some of the gems we’ve heard throughout the years – excuses we wonder if the person delivering them even believed.
About a year ago, my friend and I decided to test run a new exercise program. She designed it, and we used ourselves as guinea pigs for four months. It was the best shape I’ve ever been in in my life. It was so effective, we were able to implement it as a pilot study on a small group of people. Only we used the time we had set aside for our workout as the time we ran our exercise program.
You see where this is going right?
Fast forward to one year later. I’ve added in training a dog with separation anxiety and increasing the hours I’ve spent building my coaching practice, she added in a new boyfriend and getting her house ready to get on the market. Our laughter about our clients’ excuse turned to silence when one of us voiced out loud what we were both concluding:
It’s all too easy to claim you’re too busy to exercise (or eat right, or food log, or grocery shop, or cook…). What’s really going on though, is that you’re simply no longer making it a priority.
This was a sobering thought for us. Both of us identified ourselves as exercisers, we had both done our undergraduate and master’s work in the field of health and wellness, and we both worked DAILY to promote these behaviors. After a decade of consistent, regular exercise, we were both dismayed to admit we’d dropped off to probably half of our normal routine.
The car remained quiet the rest of our ride home.
***
Later that day, I got to thinking about this conversation. I realized how uncomfortable it made me to say, out loud, “exercise has not been my priority.” I had been saying I was too busy, but that wasn’t the real truth. Raising a dog and running a practice were just two puzzle pieces of my life. The truth was I had just chosen to make other things a priority, whether it was an extra hour of working, sleeping, reading a book, or sadly enough, watching TV or browsing Facebook. I had simply ceased to make exercise a priority.
As this truth sunk in, I felt extremely uncomfortable. But I realized this is exactly what my brain needed to hear. Not my priority?? I like exercising. Even more importantly, I love the results – the strength, the energy, the confidence, and hey, the way my jeans fit. I promote exercise to others. Of course, it is my priority. Saying these words out loud was the kick in the pants I needed to take action on it. Exercise is my priority, and reminding myself of that begins to bring my actions in alignment with my values.
Sure, there’s some valid reasons to not exercise (or whatever goal you’re trying to set.) Maybe you just had a newborn and sleep is your priority. Maybe you’ve got a gravely ill family member who needs round the clock attention and care right now. A broken ankle? Sure, make the couch all yours. A flooded house? Take a few weeks off. But when you get right down to it, to the very core of it, there are very few reasons why you can’t exercise. The truth is that it’s just not your priority.
And that might be okay with you! Try saying that out loud. If it doesn’t really bother you to hear that, it’s okay. You don’t have to exercise. (I could list you a bajillion reasons why you might want to… but if you’re willing to accept the consequences of not exercising, then acknowledging that it’s not your priority is okay.)
But if it does make you uncomfortable, sit with that awhile. Change is hard. But change won’t occur until the place you’re currently hanging out in has become more painful than making that actual change. If you want to make exercise your priority, become uncomfortable with the fact that you aren’t, rather than sweeping it under the rug with “busy.”
And the day came with the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin
(*May be? I am most definitely biased, as it is my graduate “alma mater.” I promise to try and not that influence me, but I do love them Hopkins folks.)
