The Ticket
Every day on my way to work I pass a lottery billboard that says what the current jackpot is. Many days I entertain myself on my drive by going through in my head what I would do if I won the jackpot. I must confess, I am nerdy enough to reduce the jackpot down to my approximate guess at it’s after-tax value, and then the first 3 designations of the jackpot go to the not-insignificant student debt carried by our household. Then the fun begins – often I send my parents and my in laws on various vacations (separately), I shuffle between two or three different cars for my husband, choose candidates for seed money among friends or family members who I know have school and/or business dreams, secretly gift siblings or other deserving friends, and then I usually end my spree with a pair of really fantastic jeans and the hiring of a good financial adviser. Or something along these lines.
This game amuses me, and usually occupies me for at least two-thirds of my commute. However, in nearly 3 years of the commute and the same game, I have yet to buy a lottery ticket. In fact, I’ve never bought one in my life. One more fact? I would have no idea how to buy a lottery ticket and I’m slightly intimidated by all the choices. So despite the rapture that the “how I’d spend my winnings” game brings me, I’ve never once taken pursuit towards the first step that would move me closer to being a jackpot winner.
Why? Until today, I never really thought about it, but when I got right down to it I realized that the reason I’ve never bought a ticket is that I honestly and truly believe that I’d never win the jackpot.
The more I thought about it, I discovered it goes a little deeper than that. I can dig way back into the archives of my memory and remember someone in my family – my dad? – saying “The lottery? That’s a tax on stupidity.”
Is it any wonder I’ve never bought a ticket?
Limiting beliefs are beliefs we hold to be true, without facts or proof, that stop us from taking action. My limiting belief that I’d never win the lottery is exactly what has prevented me from ever buying even a scratch off. While some might argue that my 20 minute rhapsody of “my life, jackpot winner” is nothing more than a whimsical daydream, many people spend three or four times that amount of energy mentally dwelling on what they’d do, who’d they be, where they’d go and how their life would change if they only lost weight. If they had the body they wanted. The energy. The health they dreamed of. If they won the body lottery.
Limiting beliefs exist here too. Just like my lottery fantasy, the daydream bubbles away and it’s back to reality. “Sure, that’d be nice,” I think, as I turn into the parking lot and face the day, “But, I’d never win.” “Sure, that’d be nice,” they say, as the daydream bubbles away and they’re faced with reality. “But, I’ll never weigh that. I’ll never have that body. I’ll never be able to walk up stairs without knee pain. Run a 5k. Get rid of these blood pressure medications. Escape diabetes. Wear the same size I wore before kids. Feel happy in my body.”
Is it any wonder they don’t buy the ticket? The first step towards anything you daydream about is is next to impossible if you don’t truly believe that the outcome is yours for the taking.
Limiting beliefs can hold you back from taking the first step. Here are examples of limiting beliefs I have heard my clients and others say regarding weight loss:
- It’s genetic, I’m just doomed to be overweight. (So why bother?)
- I will regain the weight I lose. (So why bother?)
- I have failed at thousands of diets before. (So I will fail if I try again.)
- Weight loss is so depriving. (So I’m not going to do it.)
Combating a limiting belief is not impossible, but it requires intention. Imagine if you were trying to help a child shake a belief you knew was not true but were steadfast believers. “There are monsters in my closet!!!” How would you do it? You might try to show them proof that their belief was not true. “Look here,” you would say as you held the closet door open wide…”no monsters!” Chances are, it would take a couple times of showing them the proof before the belief would begin to loosen it’s hold.
The same is true for our limiting beliefs. Seek proof that your belief may not be true. Are there people you know who have lost weight, despite having parents or siblings who remain overweight? Are there people you have heard who have lost weight in a way that didn’t sound so depriving? Are there people you know who have done thousands of diets and then found a different way to succeed at weight loss? (I can give you the answer to THAT one!) Yes, you may be able to find plenty of proof that supports your limiting belief. But once you also find proof that your limiting belief is not necessary FACT, you will find relief as a barrier from moving forward dissolves.
So if you’ve found yourself daydreaming of something, but not moving forward, then go and prove yourself wrong. I’ll be over here looking up past lottery winners. I might just even find myself with a ticket in hand.
Tags: fear, life coaching
Such a great post! I think everyone can relate to it in some aspect of their life. Lately, every time I start thinking oh I can’t do that or “that’s not me” my thought is immediately cut off and replaced with “I can do ANYthing.” And it makes me smile, and gets me motivated, and I really believe it (Without getting ridiculous).
I don’t know how or when that started happening in my brain but ever since it did I’ve been pushing myself to do more or be different than I have been. It’s like a positive snowball effect– once you do one small thing you didn’t think you could, you just keep tackling bigger and bigger challenges bc you start believing in yourself more!
I do the exact same thing with the lotto tickets. I’ve gotten two or three, but that’s it. It’s up to over $200 mil now though, so I may have to try again! (Oh and every time I buy one, Blake gives me your “it’s a tax on stupidity” line. I’d like to see him say that if I won and told him that my stupidity doesn’t buy new boats.)
I totally agree with the above 2 posts. The one thing I keep learning from Meghan is I should NEVER say never. I am not quite where Heather is, but I am getting there!! Thanks for the great posts. I sometimes think you are reading my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!