Anatomy of a Craving: Step Two
T.F.A.
Thoughts. Feelings. Actions.
TFA is the major principal to understanding and untangling emotional eating. TFA stands for Thoughts lead to Feelings, Feelings lead to Actions.
Here’s an example:
Many people start off their weight loss program hopeful, enthusiastic, and confident. Their predominant thought might be something like “I can do this! I have the tools, I know what I need to do and I can do this!!” Weight comes off and reinforces this belief.
The thought here is: I can do this.
What kind of feelings would you experience if your predominant thinking was “I can do this?” I always think of confidence and excitement as the two main emotions that derive from that thought.
What kind of actions do you take when you feel confident and excited?
Do you make healthy choices?
Do you meal plan?
Do you track your food?
Do you go to the gym?
You betcha. You’re on top of the world and ain’t no stopping you now.
Fast forward to a few months later. There’s often a period of burn-out around this time, and thoughts start going something like this: “Gosh, this is hard. I have to track my foods for the rest of my life? I want to eat that, why can’t I eat that? Can I really do this? Why is the weight slowing down? This is hard.”
Predominant thought: This is hard.
What kind of feelings do you experience when you’re walking around thinking “This is hard.”? No longer confident and excited, most people here feel frustrated, overwhelmed, and maybe even a little resentful.
What kind of actions do you think you take when you feel frustrated and overwhelmed?
Do you make healthy choices?
Do you meal plan?
Do you track your food?
Do you go to the gym?
At this point, probably not. The action that follows overwhelm is something akin to curling up in the fetal position and whimpering for it to go away. Well, maybe not quite that dramatic, but you can see how the feelings you experience (that derive from the thoughts you have) drive the actions you take.
Before you go any further, I need to ask you this question:
Who determines what thoughts you have?
If you said “I do!” then proceed on. You’re ready for Step Two.
If you answered anything else, then Step Two isn’t going to be help you yet. If you feel as if your thoughts come from somewhere other than yourself, then you’re not in a position to change your thoughts. If you’re not ready to change your thoughts, you’re certainly not ready to change your actions.
If you are ready to change your thoughts, let’s proceed and see how this works for emotional eating. In Step One, you collected the data of the feelings that triggered your moments of disconnection. You’ve collected the F in TFA. When you reflect on these cues, can you see why your brain has effectively removed you from those feelings with a disconnection?
Using the data you collected in Step One, trace the feelings you’ve pinpointed back to the Thoughts that generated those feelings.
Example:
For me, a trigger to disconnect (have a food craving) is when I sit down to write something and I have writers’ block. You can imagine how many boxes of Wheat Thins were consumed during my thesis preparation.
The feeling I experience is something akin to anxiousness and pressure.
The thought I trace that back to: “I have to think of something to write. I have to finish this paper/article/email/blog/product by — date, I only have an hour to work on it and it has to be good.” That thought presses my panic button.
What kind of choices do I make when I feel anxious? Not good ones.
Step Two: Trace the Feelings back to the Thoughts, until you can pinpoint what thoughts are generating the feelings of discomfort that create the action of craving/eating food. T.F.A.
Now here’s the fun part. Remember who we said was in charge of your thoughts? That’s right… you. You and you alone have the power to change that thought. Remember, a thought is just your perception of a situation. Like it or not, your thoughts are not infallible. I often meet a lot of resistance with clients around this area, because they believe if they release themselves from the thoughts they are having, things won’t get done, people will think differently of them, they won’t feel as good about themselves, and the world will stop spinning.
Newsflash: Reducing your stress rarely leads to these negative outcomes.
My thought change around my writer’s block meant that I had to let go of the idea that if I didn’t finish whatever I was working on in that very moment that my world would keep on spinning. From “I have to finish this now” to “It’s okay if I don’t know what to say now. I’ll come back to it when I feel more creative” may seem like a simple switch, but it’s taken months of practicing my new thought for it to start becoming ingrained.
Now when I experience writer’s block my new thoughts allows me to feel relieved and released, instead of panicked and anxious. I put down what I’m doing and walk away with a feeling of lightness. The snack craving I used to experience every time I got stuck has diminished and will, I believe, eventually disappear. The new feelings of relief and permission to let go do not generate feelings of discomfort.
Changing your thoughts requires patience, vigilance and practice. Once you identify the thoughts you have that are generating the feelings of discomfort, choose a new perception of the situation that allows you to feel something more productive: excited, confident, hopeful, encouraged, calm….
Go crazy daydreaming about what different perceptions you might have, until you find one that creates the least resistance and doubt. Once you hear the old thought starting to surface, blow the whistle and intentionally replace the old thought with the new one.
Practice, practice, practice. With time, your new thoughts can become as automatic as your old thoughts once were. This process may feel a bit tedious, but the end result is as effective as it is dramatic. You have nothing to lose (except some weight) and a whole lot to gain (except some weight.)
Food For Thought: Start small – choose just one feeling cue from Step One to work around and trace it back to the thought you are experiencing that is generating that feeling. Imagine how else you could perceive the situation that is generating this feeling of discomfort. What new interpretation would create the feelings you want to feel? Choose a new thought and make it a point to intentionally replace that old, automatic thought every time you hear it surface over the new few weeks. If you experience a shift in your thinking and reduction in your cravings, let me hear from you!
Tags: cravings, emotional eating
