However, as soon as my PowerPoint flashed up I felt it – the little butterflies I get in my stomach whenever I start talking about something I’m passionate about.  In this case, I was giving a talk I’ve given a few other times – about how people who are caretakers often neglect themselves.  It’s a talk I gave about a year ago at the NC Association of Volunteer Coordinators  – that time I was in a ballroom with 50 people behind a podium with a microphone and oh, man I was digging giving that talk.  I was on fire.  But, I felt the same thing last night though – even though I was in a community center with an aluminum table, my PowerPoint flashed on a cement wall with maybe a dozen people, expectantly looking at me. 

When I first started working in wellness, I was really in touch (as my life coach self would say) with the reason why I wanted to do this.  It’s a complex bundle of my past experiences – my own struggle with my weight and eating through high school and college, mixed with the experience of becoming suddenly aware of how easy it is to take health for granted when I was diagnosed with colitis – that provide the kindling for my passion for wellness.  I know that for me, if I’m not healthy, I’m not anything else.  I’m not a good wife, I’m not a good sister, a good friend, a good doggy-momma, a good person when I don’t feel well.  Being healthy, for me, gets the junk out of the way so that I can be my best self. 

There’s a quote – cleanliness is next to Godliness – and whenever I hear that, I think “no, scratch that… healthiness is next to Godliness.” Being clean is lovely, but being healthy – feeling your best, feeling unlimited by your physical state – is so powerful.  I really feel that being healthy allows you to be your best self and to fulfill whatever purpose it is that you’ve been called to. 

Teaching people about wellness feels like something bigger than myself – it feels like I’m giving people a tool to get closer to being their best self, and ultimately, to find their own purpose.  I know that sounds a little lofty, but on the days that I’m “feeling” it, I know it’s because I’m doing something greater than myself.  I consider my understanding of motivation of behavior, my complete lack of competitive nature (which allows me to be a good coach, slowly easing people along to their goals), and my ability to innately hear things that people don’t say out loud to be gifts that I’ve been blessed with.  There’s some days I don’t want to do my job.  Honestly, it’s hard.  It’s hard and it’s exhausting sometimes, to encourage and lift up people who are entrenched in unhealthy patterns.  But every now and then, I get one of those blessed moments when I realize it’s not about me – doing this job is not something I chose to do, it’s something I was chosen to do.

I didn’t feel like going to that talk last night, but sometimes it’s the things that you don’t feel like doing that you need to do.  I left feeling reconnected to my work and grateful that I have a purpose I feel passionate about.

Go ahead, make me jealous.  Go on and go to this conference and hear some of the most fabulous women in business today.  Network with other incredible women.  Get inspired to make your business pop this year.  Learn, grow, connect, and come home bursting at the seams with inspiration.

Just don’t tell me anything about it because I’ll be too insanely jealous that you’re there.

No wait, tell me everything.

Ok, so here’s the deal.  I registered for this conference a few months ago that I was psyched out of my mind to attend.  And then…. I got this other couldn’t-turn-down opportunity… and now I can’t go.

SO!  Here’s hoping one of you out there will go and enjoy every bit of the conference in my place.

Here’s details for the conference: http://www.startupprincess.com/touchpoint/about.html

Leave a comment if you’d like to go including information on how I can get in touch with you.  If there’s more than one of you interested, I’ll do a random number generator to choose.  I’ll close the comments on Friday September 10th.

The answer: almost all the time.

I don’t know who made up these rules: “No pain, no gain.”  “IF you didn’t’ come to win, you shouldn’t have come at all.”   Listen, giving 150% is awesome.  It really is.  But if the expectation is that you HAVE to give 150% to play at all, then you might be missing out on the game.

Most of us have many things we’d like to start doing or do more of.  Exercise.  Cooking.  Writing.  Meditating.  Blogging. (Ahem, self).  Putting the new website out there.  Starting a business.  Networking.  Updating the resume.  Spending more time with the kids.  Eating healthy.  The list of self-improvement can be long and daunting.  But often there exists the expectation that unless we can’t do something all out, we shouldn’t bother doing it all.  Or, that we should wait until it’s the right time.  Newsflash: it’s never the right time.  Perfectionism breeds procrastination.

When is “good enough” good enough?

Let me give you an example from one of my coaching clients (given with her permission, of course.)  My client and I were talking about exercise, and why she wasn’t feeling excited about exercising right now.  We were going through different scenarios when she mentioned “You know, I don’t mind working out.  I like being at the gym.  It’s just how I feel afterwards – like I need a 2 hour nap – that makes me want to avoid going.”

Well, that shed some light on the subject!  I know I would avoid going too if a 1 hour gym session led to a 2 hour nap… who has time to do that?  All kudos to Jillian Michael – you all know I adore her – but if you feel like you need to work out like you’ve got Jillian screaming at you every time, you just might find your motivation to keep going would wane too.

This persistent idea that “if you’re not going to give it your all, then don’t give it at all” can sometimes do more harm than good.  I fully recognize the value of pushing yourself past the limits you’ve set for yourself – but we can only push past those limits if we show up consistently enough to test them!

My client mentioned that there was a park about a mile away from her house, and she really liked jogging to it.  However, she always felt like that wasn’t enough, so she hadn’t really considered that an option.   Sure, giving 150% is awesome.  But doesn’t 50% still beat 0%?  With this new mindset in place to try out, she could feel her resistance to exercise start to diminish.

You’re always capable of doing more than you realize… but you’ll never get a chance to find out if you don’t create a situation that encourages you to just do in the first place.   Turns out that “good enough” is a perfectly “good enough” place to start.

If you read the “life” section of my blog, then you probably know about my dog Buddy.  We got Buddy as a five year old rescue last year, not fully realizing the extent of his separation anxiety.  It’s been a challenging year – cleaning “bio-hazardous” materials out of many surfaces of my home, putting my sewing skills to the test to repair curtains, filling scratches in dry wall and last but not least, repairing teeth.  (I did not repair the teeth, of course… paying for them to be repaired.)  We’ve tried many different strategies, including both medicinal and multiple behavioral strategies but hadn’t had a great deal of progress in the year we had owned him.  And of course, we had fallen head over paws in love with him so there was no going back – we’re pretty desperate to help our Buds.

I could tell immediately upon talking to Karen that her plan had the potential to be very effective.  So why was I glancing over at my copious pile of notes with something that could only be described as hesitation?

To tell you the truth, Karen’s plan sounded like a lot of work.  Not hours upon hours and not “miss a day and fail” but definitely consistent, daily effort.  It would require a lifestyle change.  And I couldn’t help but wonder, were Matt and I ready to commit to that kind of change?  But wait… didn’t we desperately want this outcome?  Didn’t I say I would do anything to make this happen?  Didn’t I swear if Cesar would come visit me, I would pay for his plane ticket from LA?

It occurred to me that perhaps what I was feeling was similar to what many of my clients might feel when it first dawns on them that the outcome they so desperately want, would do anything for is going to require consistent, daily effort.  A lifestyle change.

Whether it’s weight loss, a career change, creating a less stressful lifestyle or altering an anxious doggy’s behavior, we know intuitively it’s going to take effort.  So how come when we hold a plan in our hot little hands we often balk?

At first glance, it seems a simple cost vs. benefit analysis.  Do I want the outcome (benefit) bad enough to invest the time, money or effort (cost) that it will take to get there?  The urgency of our desire weighs into that equation – if you have 10 pounds to lose, do you want the outcome less than someone who has 80 pounds?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  And some of it depends on the cost: if it took 10 minutes a day, would you be more willing to move forward more readily than if it took 40 minutes a day?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I’ve seen both of sides of that equation surprise me: I’ve seen people move forward at great cost, and halt at seemingly trivial costs. I’ve seen those with little sense of urgency blaze forward, and the most desperate freeze up.  It leads me to believe there’s more at play than a simple cost vs. benefits.

I think what really determines whether or not we move forward with a plan is our readiness to face something big: the fear of failure.  What if I invest the time and the money and the effort… and it doesn’t work?  What if I fail miserably?  What if I disappoint myself?  What if I disappoint others?  Embarrass myself?  Frustrate myself?  Fear of failure rears it’s ugly voice and says: “It won’t work.  It won’t be enough.  It won’t last.  Don’t try it.”

What holds us back is not our lack of urgency, not the size of the goal and not even the cost, be it time, money or effort.  What holds us back is our fear of failing.  Look deeply into whatever change you’ve been desperately wanting to make.  If you’ve stopped and started, or never started, or started and wavered – peel back some of the layers and look fear right in the eyes.  (It often backs down when you do this.)  Ask yourself, what do I really have to lose?  Maybe some time.  Maybe some money.  Maybe some ego.  But if I succeed, what do I gain?  Not just the outcome you want, but that swagger that comes from moving past the boundary lines you’ve drawn for yourself.

If you don’t try it, then you can always blame being in the same place on that – not making any effort.  You can always hold the thought in your back of your head “well one day, when I’m ready…. But until then, at least I know why I’m here.”  If you try a plan and it doesn’t work, then what?  What if you invest the time and the money and the effort and it’s not the right one?  THEN WHAT?

A week ago, I didn’t know Karen existed.  I thought I had exhausted every behavioral strategy (and medicinal strategy) for treating a dog with separation anxiety.  I felt like I had read every book, every article, every perspective on rehabbing an anxious dog.  I was wrong.

If the approach you try doesn’t work, it’s not your last hope.  It doesn’t mean you are doomed forever to be stuck in the same position you are now.  But do you know what will doom you to stay there?

Doing absolutely nothing at all.

And if you stop to think about it, that’s even scarier than feeling.  Which means you really have nothing to lose if you move forward.

What's this new "plan" you speak of? Hmm?

There’s a well-known study in behavioral psychology about the 1953 graduating class of Yale University.  3% of that class, upon graduation, committed their goals down to paper.  20 years later, follow up on the alumni from this group found that those 3% had acquired more wealth than the other 97% graduates combined!  This study is frequently cited as a powerful testimony to the power of the written word.

Unfortunately, the study never happened.  Yup, just like many urban myths that proliferate through email forwards and websites, there’s not a parcel of truth to this study.

Or is there?

Both Yale and Harvard (who is sometimes listed as the graduating university in variations of the story) have both confirmed that this study never existed, despite the fact that consultants, coaches and business managers have been quoting it as a foundational principle for achievement and goal setting for years.  The persistence of this belief, to me, indicates that it is an idea that does still resonate with us, even despite the apparent lack of empirical data to support it.

I’ve always personally subscribed to the power of the written word, whether it’s using day to day logging (like food logging, or tracking exercise) or journaling for more long term goals and self-reflection.  Recently, I’ve been cleaning out a filing cabinet that contains at least four years worth of papers and documents.  In my paper shuffling, I came across some interesting pieces of evidence about the power of writing things down.

The first was a pretty heavy-duty piece of self-reflection that I had to complete as part of my coaching training, about 3 years ago.  The questionnaire was an exhaustive 20 pages, but of course, I couldn’t help but dive in to see what had changed in the time that had transpired.  One of the exercise involved evaluating how you spent your time vs. how you would like to spending your time, and as I read through exercise I saw that I had written that “I feel like I am living on adrenaline, constantly rushing from one thing on my to do list to the next and never feeling like I was actually present in the moment.  If the only thing that changed after coaching training was this feeling, it’d be worth every dollar I’m paying to be here.”

I re-read that statement three or four times before I realized that I had really written that, and felt that way.   I don’t feel like that at all anymore.  I can’t say that I consciously came up with a plan to put in to place to slow down my life, although I could probably attribute the change to regular gratitude journaling, somewhat regular meditation, and saying “no” more often.  I was amazed to see that while I had not consciously focused on creating that change, I had indeed created that change.  (Guess my coaching training WAS worth every dollar I paid for it.)

The next thing I found was a “wheel of wellness” that I had created a few years ago to use with clients.  It’s a wheel with various aspects of wellness (food choices, emotional eating, energy balance, etc) and the client rates their satisfaction on a scale of 1-10 in each wedge of the wheel.  It gives you a picture of how balanced their life is, and it also helps identify areas to start working on.  I had “tested it” on myself about 3 years, and had written on the back that the only area I was dissatisfied with was my food choices, in particular the amount of processed foods I used.  I had written that my primary goals would be to cut back on diet coke (which was an at least once a day addiction).   I shoved that paper into a drawer and never looked at it again.

But what happened?  A few months ago, my husband and I decided we would stop buying soda to keep in our house.  It’s still my ‘go to treat’ but now instead of having one every day for lunch, and sometimes again after work, I have 2-3 a week.  I didn’t consciously make that decision remembering the wheel, but nonetheless, my written down goal has come true, again without really a great deal of effort!

Okay, you want to know how I went on an all expensive paid trip to the Carribean don’t you?  The last piece a paper I found was entitled “BIG WIGS.”  WIG stands for “Wildly Improbable Goals,” and comes from Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star.  (A fantastic “soul-searching” book that I highly recommend.)  Beck’s premise is to write down goals that are SO wild, so improbable, so crazy that you can’t even imagine how they’d come true.  This gets you out of the “yeah, but….” self talk that tends to circle Somewhat Probable Goals (not very catchy, I know).  I won’t tell you what all my WIGs were (because the other ones are going to come true, I know now)… but I had written “All-expense paid trip to somewhere warm and tropical with my hubby.”

WELL.  I heard the Twilight Zone music start to play when I read this.  Last year, I was talking to a friend who told me about a program where Personal Trainers could go work a week at a number of different resorts in exchange for their and guest accommodations and food.  As I still had my personal training certification active, I signed us right up and last May, Matt and I lounged around in the Dominican Republic, all expenses paid, in exchange for 2 hours working as a personal trainer ever day.

Now, my WIG didn’t exactly mention I’d be working for 10 hours that week, but do yout hink I’m complaining?  NOPE!

The last piece of paper was what struck me the most, because at the time, when I wrote it, I couldn’t foresee any possible way that we’d be headed somewhere warm and tropical … and not pay a dime.  But that’s the magic… I couldn’t imagine it, so there was no doubt or anything to get in my way. There’s something powerful that happens when we write things down, and tuck them away.

Look, some goals need to be SMART goals.  They need specifics, they need plans, they need follow-up.  But some goals are either so big and too wild to tame (like my trip), or they’re a little fuzzy around the edges to create a how to plan (my “less adrenaline, please” goals.)  And some goals fall in the “would be nice” category – you’d like to make them happen, but maybe they lack a little bit of the urgency that creates an “okay, what’s next?!” kind of plan. These goals might not need the same kind of systemic, SMART style plan that clearly defined, specific, and time-oriented goals need.

Some goals need plans, and some goals need incubation.  The latter – the wild ones, the fuzzy ones and the non urgent ones, are the perfect types of goals to incubate.  To write down, to dream about, and then to put away to hatch.  I’m not promising that everything you write down on a piece of paper comes true, but I’m a firm believer that the actual act of committing your dreams or goals to paper is one of the very critical pieces in creation.  It’s an act of intention. Taking it out of the mind, putting it consciously on to paper.  Putting words to the dream.

Someone once said “a goal is just a wish until you write it down.”  It may not have been a Yale graduate who uttered those words, but it’s sage advice nonetheless.

You don’t have to know how to make a goal happen yet.  But writing it down is the first step towards committing your intention to making it happen.

I challenge you to write down 3 goals:

(1) one BIG WIG goal.  Fairly specific, but so wild you can’t even imagine how it would happen goal.

(2) a fuzzy goal – a feeling or experience or a state of being you’d like.  Again, you don’t have to know how it’ll happen.

(3) a non-urgent goal.  Something you’d like to do, but don’t feel stressed about.

Write it down in a journal.  Write in a piece of paper you fold up and tuck into the back of your filing cabinet.  Leave it in the comments.  Send it to me an email.  (If you do, I promise to email you in 2 years and see where you are!)

Just begin with the intentional act of committing your goals to the written word, and let the magic take hold.  Trust me, you’ve got nothing to lose and maybe a vacation to go on…. Endless pina coladas by the poolside?  Yes, please!

That’s all it seemed like I was doing – one small step after another.  I’m not sure what I was doing could be considered running, but somehow I was still moving.  Rather than look at the far away crest of the hill, I looked down at my feet.  One small step.  Another small step.  “Am I shuffling or running?” I thought to myself.  I continued on in this manner, one small step at a time.

You know where this is going, right?  I made it to the top of the hill.  This wouldn’t be a very motivating post if I didn’t, would it? 

I didn’t use to be a “runner,” even though it seemed my entire family was born with sneakers laced up.  My Dad has been doing races for as long as I can remember.  My sister joined him and did her first 5k at 7 years old.  My brother ran cross-country in high school.  Growing up, the only running I ever did was when I got in trouble for running my mouth at cheerleading practice and was sent to jog the quarter mile track, huffing and puffing and praying no one on the football team could tell it was me.

When I graduated from high school, I decided I better find something to replace the cheerleading and dance to ward off the infamous freshmen fifteen I had been warned of.  So, I decided I wanted to be a runner.  I called my friend, Mariel and asked her “how do you run?”  After catching her breath through her laughter, she gave me a few helpful tips and wished me good luck.

I can remember the first day I went for a run.  It was a warm May day in upstate New York.  (Fortunately, humidity wassn’t something I’d have to contend with until a few months later, when I relocated to North Carolina.)  I had my brand new running clothes on, and a fresh pair of running sneakers.  I headed out the door, head held high, sneakers pounding the pavement proudly…. and made it to the end of the street before I was bent over, side stitch impaling me, run finished.

For curiosity sake, I just looked up what the distance was from the front door of my house to the end of my street.  0.3 miles.  This means I was probably moving for about 3-and-a-half or four minutes.  Well… you gotta start somewhere right?

Many, many small steps later, running has become a regular part of my life.  I’ve run 26.2 miles once, 13.1 miles twice and 3.2 miles more times than I can count.  I’ve run to shake writer’s block, I’ve run to stay awake after (a few) all nighters, I’ve run to push away a heartache, I’ve run to prove to someone that I can. I’ve run to train, I’ve run to burn calories, I’ve run to lose weight.  But mostly, these days, I run just to run.  It still sort of amuses me that those who’ve met me in the last decade consider me a runner, because so often in my head, I’m still that girl in the brand new sneakers gasping for breath at the stop sign of Guilford and Cranston. 

There are many, many small steps between that girl standing at a street corner, embarassed and defeated, and the girl who trudged up a hill today, in North Carolina humidity.  I still rarely find that running is “easy”, but today, I know I can do it.  As miserable as that hill was today, I knew I’d make it.  It might be ugly, it might be slow, and it might not even be a motion that would constitute was “running” but, one small step at a time, I knew I would finish it. 

The one step at a time is the only way I know to approach a goal that feels monumental.  To me, running 3 miles was monumental.  And then running 6 was, and then running 13 was.  Today, when I train for a half marathon, I start at the bare minimum of my comfort zone and push about 10% more than.  Each time, a few more small steps than what I know I can do.  This year, after a long winter hiatus, I started with a mile.  I’ll be honest, it’s going to take a long time to get to 13.  But I know I will get there – one small step at a time.

What marathon are you putting off training for?  Is it the overwhelming clutter that’s taking over your house, keeping you from being able to relax and find peace in your home?  Is it the monumental number on the scale that you’d have to peel off to be at a healthy weight?  Is it going back to school or beginning the process of a major career change?  Is it getting your finances organized or paying down massive credit? 

Most of us have hills that look incredibly intimidating when we’re standing at the bottom.  We can imagine how glorious it would feel to be coasting down the other side, but the actual journey of getting to the top?  We can only think about how hard it will be, how uncomfortable, maybe even painful it will be, and how long it will take.  Or maybe you’re like me, and part of what’s holding you back is the image you have of yourself – or, as I like to say, the story you’re telling yourself.  If I clung desperately to the idea that I really was that girl who couldn’t get past that first stop sign, I’d still be there.  Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t somehow morphed into Paula Radcliffe in the last ten years – but I’m moving.  One small step at a time. 

What’s your marathon?  Do you have a story about yourself that’s holding you back?  Is the pain of trudging up the hill really worse than standing at the bottom of it, looking up?  If you’re holding back because your goal is going to take a long time, think of it this way: a year is going to pass, one way or another.  Five years are going to pass.  Ten years are going to pass.  They can either pass with you still standing at the stop sign, gasping for breath, or you can be moving with them.  Maybe shuffling along sometimes, but moving still – one small step at a time. 
Technorati Tags: motivation, weight loss, goals

I know, I know, I know. Eating in front of the TV earns me a slap on the wrist, as does every lunch I eat in front of the computer. Being conscious of this means it’s become more of a once a week habit, versus once upon a graduate school life, when I did it every night. Even though I know that there’s ton of research that shows that eating while distracted contributes to overeating, I’ve tried to do some damage control by portion controlling BEFORE I sit down to eat.

But recently, I came across a journal article by Suzanne Higgs PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Birmingham, that made me think even harder about basking in the occasional TV glow during my meals. Higgs set up an experiment where she had a group of volunteers eat lunch one day in front of the television, and one day away from it. Higgs guessed that eating in front of the TV would interfere with the sujbect’s memories, leaving them more vulnerable to bigger snacks at their next eating episode.

Was she right? You bet. Volunteers were offered cookies several hours after they had finished lunch. Regardless of hunger and satiety (which they had rated before and after lunch), the volunteers in Higgs’ study ate 20% more cookies at their snack when they had consumed their meal in front of the TV.

Which indicates that not only may we set ourselves up to overeat at the distracted-meal-in-question, but we may be prone to overconsume at the NEXT eating epsidoe as well. Oh boy.

I started paying attention on the nights when I watched TV and ate dinner, versus the nights I sat at the table, paid attention to my meal, ate slowly and stopped when I was full. (I did the same comparing lunch in front of my computer, versus taking a break for lunch and eating it away from the glow of the monitor.) Sure enough, I found that an hour or so after eating my distracted-meals, I was usually craving “something sweet.” I wasn’t hungry, but I wasn’t satisfied. I believe Higgs is on to something here, and it’s made me recommit to minimizing my own episodes of distracted eating.

I’m putting this challenge out to eat one of you. If you eat a meal in front of the TV or computer, or even while reading the paper or emails, or driving in the car, or heaven help us, talking on the phone… I’m challenging you to stop. Turn it off – whether it’s the computer, the TV, the news, the Simpsons, the car, the blackberry – and pay attention to what you’re eating.  If you work in an office with no break room, take advantage of the warmer days to have a quick picnic outside! 

Listen, I love food, and I know many of you out there do too. Let’s do ourselves a favor and pay attention to that thing we claim to love so much. If you accept this challenge, and find that you have a positive result from it, please share your experience in the comments below.

But don’t post while eating you’re sandwich, please.

What most stuck with me from Dr. Appel’s talk was his reply to a question about whether or not physicians should offer their patients a “menu” of options when it comes to weight loss strategies.  Many people might have agreed with this, reasoning that tailoring an approach to an individual’s lifestyle, preferences or energy would be a great way to increase the likelihood that they would comply with the prescription.  Dr. Appel had a surprising and interesting reply.

He said that as much as he would like that option to be feasible, when you got right down to it, there are many things that people want to do to lose weight that are ineffective, and many things that they don’t want to do that are proven very effective.  Specifically, he mentioned calorie counting – an activity that many people really passionately dislike doing but something that is incredibly supported by research as an effective and safe means of weight loss.

Did I mention I consider Hopkins people to be the best?

At this point, I looked over at the investigator of the research grant I work on who was giving me a look as if to say “Soooo, you haven’t been making this stuff up all along?”

***

Leaving the talk, my friend and I discussed the validity of this comment and how important it was to be direct with people about what works, even when they don’t want to hear it.  (See: my love for Jillian Michaels and her unwavering ability to do this.)   From there, we started talking about the many, many different reasons we’ve heard from people about why they are “unable” to exercise or commit to weight loss behaviors.  We were doubled over laughing at some of the gems we’ve heard throughout the years – excuses we wonder if the person delivering them even believed.

About a year ago, my friend and I decided to test run a new exercise program.  She designed it, and we used ourselves as guinea pigs for four months.  It was the best shape I’ve ever been in in my life.  It was so effective, we were able to implement it as a pilot study on a small group of people.  Only we used the time we had set aside for our workout as the time we ran our exercise program.

You see where this is going right?

Fast forward to one year later.  I’ve added in training a dog with separation anxiety and increasing the hours I’ve spent building my coaching practice, she added in a new boyfriend and getting her house ready to get on the market.  Our laughter about our clients’ excuse turned to silence when one of us voiced out loud what we were both concluding:

It’s all too easy to claim you’re too busy to exercise (or eat right, or food log, or grocery shop, or cook…).  What’s really going on though, is that you’re simply no longer making it a priority.

This was a sobering thought for us.  Both of us identified ourselves as exercisers, we had both done our undergraduate and master’s work in the field of health and wellness, and we both worked DAILY to promote these behaviors.  After a decade of consistent, regular exercise, we were both dismayed to admit we’d dropped off to probably half of our normal routine.

The car remained quiet the rest of our ride home.

***

Later that day, I got to thinking about this conversation.  I realized how uncomfortable it made me to say, out loud, “exercise has not been my priority.”  I had been saying I was too busy, but that wasn’t the real truth.  Raising a dog and running a practice were just two puzzle pieces of my life.  The truth was I had just chosen to make other things a priority, whether it was an extra hour of working, sleeping, reading a book, or sadly enough, watching TV or browsing Facebook.  I had simply ceased to make exercise a priority.

As this truth sunk in, I felt extremely uncomfortable.  But I realized this is exactly what my brain needed to hear.  Not my priority??  I like exercising.  Even more importantly, I love the results – the strength, the energy, the confidence, and hey, the way my jeans fit.  I promote exercise to others.  Of course, it is my priority.  Saying these words out loud was the kick in the pants I needed to take action on it.  Exercise is my priority, and reminding myself of that begins to bring my actions in alignment with my values.

Sure, there’s some valid reasons to not exercise (or whatever goal you’re trying to set.)  Maybe you just had a newborn and sleep is your priority.  Maybe you’ve got a gravely ill family member who needs round the clock attention and care right now.  A broken ankle?  Sure, make the couch all yours.  A flooded house?  Take a few weeks off.  But when you get right down to it, to the very core of it, there are very few reasons why you can’t exercise.  The truth is that it’s just not your priority.

And that might be okay with you!  Try saying that out loud.  If it doesn’t really bother you to hear that, it’s okay.  You don’t have to exercise.  (I could list you a bajillion reasons why you might want to… but if you’re willing to accept the consequences of not exercising, then acknowledging that it’s not your priority is okay.)

But if it does make you uncomfortable, sit with that awhile.  Change is hard.  But change won’t occur until the place you’re currently hanging out in has become more painful than making that actual change.  If you want to make exercise your priority, become uncomfortable with the fact that you aren’t, rather than sweeping it under the rug with “busy.”

And the day came with the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

(*May be?  I am most definitely biased, as it is my graduate “alma mater.”  I promise to try and not that influence me, but I do love them Hopkins folks.)

I have to tell you, I have no clue where this thought came from.  I was in the middle of cleaning my kitchen when it occurred to me, and as far as I can tell the closest mind trigger to Downward Facing Dog I could have had was the pose I was doing to try and get a vase out from where I had stashed it in the way back of my under-sink-cabinet.  But the thought had merit: unlike other exercise programs, everyone I know who does yoga seems to greatly enjoy it.  Sure, I can think of many people I know who love their other exercise programs, whether it be running, strength training, Zumba, spin…. but I can also think of many people who do these same programs while declaring their loath, forcing themselves through the routine for it’s benefits.  (Even Jillian Michaels says in her book, Master Your Metabolism, that she doesn’t really like exercising. I was shocked!)  The thing is, I can’t think of a single person I know who does yoga who doesn’t love it.  Like, annoying facebook status updates and “you should come!” invitations and “OMG, yoga has CHANGED MY LIFE” stories LOVE it.  (And I say this with my tongue in check, as I truly adore people with a passion.)

I’ve tried yoga a few times in my life: once when I was unable to run during a particularly long stretch of a colitis flare, again when I was too poor in grad school to pay for a gym membership and loaded up on workout DVDs borrowed from friends, and then again when we got our wii fit last Christmas.  I like it… but I never quite seem to get that same rush that I get at the end of a run where I’ve really pushed myself or after a hour long iron session in the gym.  So, when there’s a block on my schedule for exercise I find myself time and time again lacing up my sneakers before rolling out the mat.

Oh and did I mention?  I seem to be quite bad at it. The last time I did wii fit my “trainer” cocked her grainy, electronic head, looked at me quizzically and said “You seem to be a little out of balance.” Nothing like a gentle but pointed put down from an electronic being.

In the last two years, I’ve also devoured many books on the subject of, and now put into practice, the exercise of meditation and have seen how that has benefited my life.  It seems to go hand-in-hand that someone who appreciations meditation AND exercising would surely love the practice that combined the two?  Yoga keeps popping up in my life, be it from friends who have become new converts, a client who asked me to help her research local studios or, such as today, random thoughts popping into my head while cleaning.

A few hours after my random thought appeared, I was flipping through the latest issue of Prevention magazine.  On page 65, there was a woman doing Downward Facing Dog.  It caught my eye and so I read the small print.  It turns out a research study conducted at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center found that people who practice yoga regularly practiced something else regularly: mindful eating.  Okay… I’m listening.  I’m a huge proponent of the benefits of mindfulness when it comes to eating… and here was an empirical research study showing a way to increase the practice of mindfulness with our food.  The results were independent of any other physical activity or dietary choices – that simply put, being a practitioner of yoga helped these participants be more attuned to their choices when they food was in front of them.  The study was published in the August 2009 edition of the Journal of the American Dietetic Association.  (You can read more about the study here.)

The principal investigator, Dr. Alan Kristal, on the study was quoted saying this: “Mindful eating is a skill that augments the usual approaches to weight loss, such as dieting, counting calories and limiting portion sizes. Adding yoga practice to a standard weight-loss program may make it more effective.”

Weight loss is not just about counting calories.  Long term success means having a healthy relationship with food, which is hugely defined by how mindful and conscious we are with each choice we make.  It stands to reason then, that an exercise that is intended to develop our levels of mindfulness, would help strengthen a conscious, healthy food relationship.

I just might be swayed after all, wii trainers be darned.

So readers, I’ll ask you: do any of you out there practice yoga regularly and if so, can you reflect on any changes you’ve experienced with your relationship with food since starting your practice?  What other benefits have you seen since incorporating yoga into your routine?

I’ll let ya’ll know if 2010 becomes the year of the warrior pose for me.  Or, maybe in keeping with my theory of small steps adding up to big changes, we’ll start with something a little less overwhelming.  I think this year I’ll master child’s pose.  After all, it is hard to eat when your lying face first on the ground, right?

Are you watching season 9?  The first night the contestants, no longer averaging in the high 200s, but now weighing in at 300, 400 and 500+ pounds, walked on to the ranch and were immediately pu ton a bicycle.  They were told they had to bike 26.2 miles, or run the risk of going home.

Now let’s think about this.  If you’re weighing in the 300-400’s, chance are the first thing that crosses your mind when you hear this challenge is “I. Can’t. Do. This.”  No way, no how, right?

To have found oneself in such an unhealthy and scary state, I think it’s safe to assume “I can’t do this” is a common refrain.

But going home?  To these contestants, desperate for the chance to save their lives on the ranch, that is an even scarier prospect than what 26.2 miles on a bike might feel like.  So they pedal, they push, they scream, they sweat.  And they do it.  (With, ahem, medical staff standing nearby, donttrythisathome/doctorspermission,please.)

When the fear of not doing it becomes greater than the fear of doing it…. or, please allow me to reframe, when the desire to do it becomes greater than the desire to not do it… that is where the magic lies.  You can do it.  These contestants, in their first two hours on the campus, became blazingly, stunningly aware that their bodies could do more than their mind permitted them to believe.

Yours. Can. Too.