Meg Cline Coaching

Subtitle: “How I Earned an All Expense Paid Trip to the Dominican Republic”

There’s a well-known study in behavioral psychology about the 1953 graduating class of Yale University.  3% of that class, upon graduation, committed their goals down to paper.  20 years later, follow up on the alumni from this group found that those 3% had acquired more wealth than the other 97% graduates combined!  This study is frequently cited as a powerful testimony to the power of the written word.

Unfortunately, the study never happened.  Yup, just like many urban myths that proliferate through email forwards and websites, there’s not a parcel of truth to this study.

Or is there?

Both Yale and Harvard (who is sometimes listed as the graduating university in variations of the story) have both confirmed that this study never existed, despite the fact that consultants, coaches and business managers have been quoting it as a foundational principle for achievement and goal setting for years.  The persistence of this belief, to me, indicates that it is an idea that does still resonate with us, even despite the apparent lack of empirical data to support it.

I’ve always personally subscribed to the power of the written word, whether it’s using day to day logging (like food logging, or tracking exercise) or journaling for more long term goals and self-reflection.  Recently, I’ve been cleaning out a filing cabinet that contains at least four years worth of papers and documents.  In my paper shuffling, I came across some interesting pieces of evidence about the power of writing things down.

The first was a pretty heavy-duty piece of self-reflection that I had to complete as part of my coaching training, about 3 years ago.  The questionnaire was an exhaustive 20 pages, but of course, I couldn’t help but dive in to see what had changed in the time that had transpired.  One of the exercise involved evaluating how you spent your time vs. how you would like to spending your time, and as I read through exercise I saw that I had written that “I feel like I am living on adrenaline, constantly rushing from one thing on my to do list to the next and never feeling like I was actually present in the moment.  If the only thing that changed after coaching training was this feeling, it’d be worth every dollar I’m paying to be here.”

I re-read that statement three or four times before I realized that I had really written that, and felt that way.   I don’t feel like that at all anymore.  I can’t say that I consciously came up with a plan to put in to place to slow down my life, although I could probably attribute the change to regular gratitude journaling, somewhat regular meditation, and saying “no” more often.  I was amazed to see that while I had not consciously focused on creating that change, I had indeed created that change.  (Guess my coaching training WAS worth every dollar I paid for it.)

The next thing I found was a “wheel of wellness” that I had created a few years ago to use with clients.  It’s a wheel with various aspects of wellness (food choices, emotional eating, energy balance, etc) and the client rates their satisfaction on a scale of 1-10 in each wedge of the wheel.  It gives you a picture of how balanced their life is, and it also helps identify areas to start working on.  I had “tested it” on myself about 3 years, and had written on the back that the only area I was dissatisfied with was my food choices, in particular the amount of processed foods I used.  I had written that my primary goals would be to cut back on diet coke (which was an at least once a day addiction).   I shoved that paper into a drawer and never looked at it again.

But what happened?  A few months ago, my husband and I decided we would stop buying soda to keep in our house.  It’s still my ‘go to treat’ but now instead of having one every day for lunch, and sometimes again after work, I have 2-3 a week.  I didn’t consciously make that decision remembering the wheel, but nonetheless, my written down goal has come true, again without really a great deal of effort!

Okay, you want to know how I went on an all expensive paid trip to the Carribean don’t you?  The last piece a paper I found was entitled “BIG WIGS.”  WIG stands for “Wildly Improbable Goals,” and comes from Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star.  (A fantastic “soul-searching” book that I highly recommend.)  Beck’s premise is to write down goals that are SO wild, so improbable, so crazy that you can’t even imagine how they’d come true.  This gets you out of the “yeah, but….” self talk that tends to circle Somewhat Probable Goals (not very catchy, I know).  I won’t tell you what all my WIGs were (because the other ones are going to come true, I know now)… but I had written “All-expense paid trip to somewhere warm and tropical with my hubby.”

WELL.  I heard the Twilight Zone music start to play when I read this.  Last year, I was talking to a friend who told me about a program where Personal Trainers could go work a week at a number of different resorts in exchange for their and guest accommodations and food.  As I still had my personal training certification active, I signed us right up and last May, Matt and I lounged around in the Dominican Republic, all expenses paid, in exchange for 2 hours working as a personal trainer ever day.

Now, my WIG didn’t exactly mention I’d be working for 10 hours that week, but do yout hink I’m complaining?  NOPE!

The last piece of paper was what struck me the most, because at the time, when I wrote it, I couldn’t foresee any possible way that we’d be headed somewhere warm and tropical … and not pay a dime.  But that’s the magic… I couldn’t imagine it, so there was no doubt or anything to get in my way. There’s something powerful that happens when we write things down, and tuck them away.

Look, some goals need to be SMART goals.  They need specifics, they need plans, they need follow-up.  But some goals are either so big and too wild to tame (like my trip), or they’re a little fuzzy around the edges to create a how to plan (my “less adrenaline, please” goals.)  And some goals fall in the “would be nice” category – you’d like to make them happen, but maybe they lack a little bit of the urgency that creates an “okay, what’s next?!” kind of plan. These goals might not need the same kind of systemic, SMART style plan that clearly defined, specific, and time-oriented goals need.

Some goals need plans, and some goals need incubation.  The latter – the wild ones, the fuzzy ones and the non urgent ones, are the perfect types of goals to incubate.  To write down, to dream about, and then to put away to hatch.  I’m not promising that everything you write down on a piece of paper comes true, but I’m a firm believer that the actual act of committing your dreams or goals to paper is one of the very critical pieces in creation.  It’s an act of intention. Taking it out of the mind, putting it consciously on to paper.  Putting words to the dream.

Someone once said “a goal is just a wish until you write it down.”  It may not have been a Yale graduate who uttered those words, but it’s sage advice nonetheless.

You don’t have to know how to make a goal happen yet.  But writing it down is the first step towards committing your intention to making it happen.

I challenge you to write down 3 goals:

(1) one BIG WIG goal.  Fairly specific, but so wild you can’t even imagine how it would happen goal.

(2) a fuzzy goal – a feeling or experience or a state of being you’d like.  Again, you don’t have to know how it’ll happen.

(3) a non-urgent goal.  Something you’d like to do, but don’t feel stressed about.

Write it down in a journal.  Write in a piece of paper you fold up and tuck into the back of your filing cabinet.  Leave it in the comments.  Send it to me an email.  (If you do, I promise to email you in 2 years and see where you are!)

Just begin with the intentional act of committing your goals to the written word, and let the magic take hold.  Trust me, you’ve got nothing to lose and maybe a vacation to go on…. Endless pina coladas by the poolside?  Yes, please!

One small step.

That’s all it seemed like I was doing – one small step after another.  I’m not sure what I was doing could be considered running, but somehow I was still moving.  Rather than look at the far away crest of the hill, I looked down at my feet.  One small step.  Another small step.  “Am I shuffling or running?” I thought to myself.  I continued on in this manner, one small step at a time.

You know where this is going, right?  I made it to the top of the hill.  This wouldn’t be a very motivating post if I didn’t, would it? 

I didn’t use to be a “runner,” even though it seemed my entire family was born with sneakers laced up.  My Dad has been doing races for as long as I can remember.  My sister joined him and did her first 5k at 7 years old.  My brother ran cross-country in high school.  Growing up, the only running I ever did was when I got in trouble for running my mouth at cheerleading practice and was sent to jog the quarter mile track, huffing and puffing and praying no one on the football team could tell it was me.

When I graduated from high school, I decided I better find something to replace the cheerleading and dance to ward off the infamous freshmen fifteen I had been warned of.  So, I decided I wanted to be a runner.  I called my friend, Mariel and asked her “how do you run?”  After catching her breath through her laughter, she gave me a few helpful tips and wished me good luck.

I can remember the first day I went for a run.  It was a warm May day in upstate New York.  (Fortunately, humidity wassn’t something I’d have to contend with until a few months later, when I relocated to North Carolina.)  I had my brand new running clothes on, and a fresh pair of running sneakers.  I headed out the door, head held high, sneakers pounding the pavement proudly…. and made it to the end of the street before I was bent over, side stitch impaling me, run finished.

For curiosity sake, I just looked up what the distance was from the front door of my house to the end of my street.  0.3 miles.  This means I was probably moving for about 3-and-a-half or four minutes.  Well… you gotta start somewhere right?

Many, many small steps later, running has become a regular part of my life.  I’ve run 26.2 miles once, 13.1 miles twice and 3.2 miles more times than I can count.  I’ve run to shake writer’s block, I’ve run to stay awake after (a few) all nighters, I’ve run to push away a heartache, I’ve run to prove to someone that I can. I’ve run to train, I’ve run to burn calories, I’ve run to lose weight.  But mostly, these days, I run just to run.  It still sort of amuses me that those who’ve met me in the last decade consider me a runner, because so often in my head, I’m still that girl in the brand new sneakers gasping for breath at the stop sign of Guilford and Cranston. 

There are many, many small steps between that girl standing at a street corner, embarassed and defeated, and the girl who trudged up a hill today, in North Carolina humidity.  I still rarely find that running is “easy”, but today, I know I can do it.  As miserable as that hill was today, I knew I’d make it.  It might be ugly, it might be slow, and it might not even be a motion that would constitute was “running” but, one small step at a time, I knew I would finish it. 

The one step at a time is the only way I know to approach a goal that feels monumental.  To me, running 3 miles was monumental.  And then running 6 was, and then running 13 was.  Today, when I train for a half marathon, I start at the bare minimum of my comfort zone and push about 10% more than.  Each time, a few more small steps than what I know I can do.  This year, after a long winter hiatus, I started with a mile.  I’ll be honest, it’s going to take a long time to get to 13.  But I know I will get there – one small step at a time.

What marathon are you putting off training for?  Is it the overwhelming clutter that’s taking over your house, keeping you from being able to relax and find peace in your home?  Is it the monumental number on the scale that you’d have to peel off to be at a healthy weight?  Is it going back to school or beginning the process of a major career change?  Is it getting your finances organized or paying down massive credit? 

Most of us have hills that look incredibly intimidating when we’re standing at the bottom.  We can imagine how glorious it would feel to be coasting down the other side, but the actual journey of getting to the top?  We can only think about how hard it will be, how uncomfortable, maybe even painful it will be, and how long it will take.  Or maybe you’re like me, and part of what’s holding you back is the image you have of yourself – or, as I like to say, the story you’re telling yourself.  If I clung desperately to the idea that I really was that girl who couldn’t get past that first stop sign, I’d still be there.  Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t somehow morphed into Paula Radcliffe in the last ten years – but I’m moving.  One small step at a time. 

What’s your marathon?  Do you have a story about yourself that’s holding you back?  Is the pain of trudging up the hill really worse than standing at the bottom of it, looking up?  If you’re holding back because your goal is going to take a long time, think of it this way: a year is going to pass, one way or another.  Five years are going to pass.  Ten years are going to pass.  They can either pass with you still standing at the stop sign, gasping for breath, or you can be moving with them.  Maybe shuffling along sometimes, but moving still – one small step at a time. 
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